#selftember- something I fear

It’s #Selftember and I am taking the opportunity to blog about a self care challenge for the entire month. Not just for spa days and mani/pedis, doing more self evaluation and focusing on how to become a better me.

My husband stated he knew he wanted to marry me within 8 months of dating, me, I was terrified..fearful.

Is this guy crazy? How can you be so sure?

This picture sums up all my trepidations, hopes and the unknown.

You see I have never committed to anything before motherhood that is. I never finished college, I left decent relationships, quit great jobs, because I had of fear of eventually failing, or fear succeeding and not maintaining it for that matter. It took me five years to get on board.

But my biggest fear?

Failing at my marriage!

My husband revealed one of my biggest fears, some things about me that I had to take a hard look at and see if he was right, and he was! 🙄 I’m tactless. I just say whatever and no thought to how it comes out. It hurt me but was it true? Being the true Sagittarius that I am, we have no filter. No sugar coating, no softening of blows just straight up what it is. Our tone is hurtful at times and most times we don’t even know we’ve hurt someone.

We are newlyweds and it’s supposed to be smooth sailing, right? Well marriage is work and it takes an abundance of effort and loads of humility to make it work. I’m not perfect but I’d rather be happy than right and I’m down for it! I’ve always been a hard worker and I’d like to say I’m not a quitter but I was. I took the first step and acknowledged the spaces in my life that need change. And I’m down for the challenge….forever!

I’d rather be hurt with the truth than for us to not communicate and reach an impassable point in our marriage.

But I won’t remain in that fear, because it isn’t real and everything I’ve ever wanted is on the other side of it.

Do you self evaluate?

xoxo,

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One thought on “#selftember- something I fear

  1. Wow! Thank you so much for being so transparent! As a newlywed myself I can completely relate to having a fear of failing at marriage. This was gold and helped me realize that I’m not alone! xoxoxo #ShesaCreative

    Liked by 1 person

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