what’s not to like

Growing up I didn’t care for my side profile.

I had a flat face or a pie face as I was teased lol. At 27, I remember saying “I am sick and tired of picking myself apart.” Went back natural and haven’t looked back.

I intentionally picked those parts I had a problem with and chose to accentuate it, accept it and love it.

More side pics of that flat face.

Bright red lipsticks for my full lips.

And smile as often as I can with my gap.

It was all in my head, literally, vanity.

No one was even concerned about my flaws like I was or I was too unbothered to notice by then. That same thinking has carried me through motherhood and this new body.

Its really easy to pick apart all the things that are wrong with you, lose a little weight here, nip and tuck there but even easier to just embrace it.

Make it yours.

There only one you.

At 40 I see some shit just ain’t gone change.

Genetics. But in this millennial world I have relating cliches…live tour best life!

You’ve got people depending on it Mama!

God don’t make no mistakes. Your flaws are your purpose whether it be to change them or flaunt them in all their beauty.

You are the ONLY thing that will is consistent throughout your entire journey in life. So you better like yourself.

I say all that to say side profiles make my shit look fly-er!!

I make jewelry to and this was a customer request.

The 2nd pic is motherhood while working… I see you boy! Get down!

What parts of you have you grown to love?

xo,

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being a black stay at home mom

I have run into this question often “So what are you doing in your spare time since the kids are in school now” or “don’t you want to work and have your own money?

Why?

Are you in my business?

Why is it so hard to believe that a stay at home mom can be black too? I’ve been at this for about two and a half years now and trust, it is not as easy or as glamorous some Moms make it out to be ALL the time.  Everybody cannot be a stay at home mom.  I have been working since I was 14 and it was a challenge to let go and completely depend on someone for everything.  Now that we are a one income family of four, budgeting is key!

I’m still struggling with that one y’all!

My fiance and I agreed that we were both comfortable with me being home with the kids at least for the first two to three years.  I bounced back and forth about whether I would homeschool them or not. Still deciding? The kids began school this year, Apple at age 2 and although I planned on keeping my youngest, Dos, with me another year, a spot at the daycare opened up so I had to jump on it quickly.   So off he went at 11 months. Yikes! They are both doing well and making developmental progress as well. I love that if the school calls and needs me to come and see about my babies or just to answer the phones for a few hours, I’m out!!

One call, that’s all….about dem babies!!

Now, what do I do all day?

At first, I literally thought that I would be able to catch up on a little sleep, cleaning and other mundane activities in the house.  But it seemed as though the more time I have, the more errands that needed to be ran.  Being a stay a stay at home mom is a business that needs a great manager(s) for the household to run like a well oiled machine.  Lots of budgeting, time management, networking, finding new mommy friends, chef, maid, healer, comforter, therapist, doctor, teacher, LAUNDRY, so much freakin’ laundry, personal stylist and personal assistant to the bread winner, WHEW!!!

Who said I don’t work?

And most importantly keeping my family happy!

I don’t think white women or any other ethnic group get such a backlash like black women do.  It is accepted and the norm for white women to stay at home and take care of the house.  The idea of a black stay at home mom is she’s lazy, a gold digger and just wants to be taken cared of her whole life, but never she just wants to be there for her family.

Not many women are forced to be domestic goddesses, it is a choice.  Sure, I could work long hours to provide them with every and anything they want and need but what I think MY kids need the most is consistency, stability and love.  I believe and hope that more black women will consider the option of staying at home with their kids even if for the beginning years, 0-3.

Yet in the first three years of life, a baby’s developing brain doubles in size. Every tickle, every warm chuckle, every waggle of a toy is a mini-explosion of brain-power, joy and love that impacts on what happens in later years.


the daily mail

There are countless studies that show kids are better prepared for school, relationships with others and show higher levels of confidence in themselves.  We need this more than ever in the black community.  Black women need the option and the ability to be comfortable with staying at home and having the opportunity to raise our kids.  My kids will always know that one of us will be home when they walk through that door.  It was the same with my mother, she was a stay-at-home mom as well.

At times it feels like it could be a slight hint of envy when I tell people I stay at home.

Mad?

I use my time to cultivate my mind, find inspiration and ideas to make my home and the ones in it feel loved.  I am developing my boys’ mental and physical well being through home activities, I cook, I clean, I love…… Look!…You know what goes on in a household so that times three for me. I continue working on my own businesses as well.  Warren Buffett says a millionaire has at least seven streams of income—–seven.

Marinate.

NOW. I am not blind to the fact that all women cannot stay at home whether it be financial incapabilities or they just aren’t capable of being at home all day with children, trust me I get it. For me, I choose to sacrifice that little bit of time for a better long term result.

But for now…. I choose to enjoy my babies!!

I am blessed to have a partner that believes in my dreams as well.  You see he owns his own business and understands the risks that are taken, the FREE time you put into your dreams and the fruits from it. I take pride in the work I do for my family and no one can do it better than me.  I will continue this until my kids are at an age of obtaining their independence, so like 4….*shrugs

All in all I enjoy every minute of it. Even when it is challenging at times.  I would not trade it for the world.

I don’t mind sharing it with the world either!

Blessings,

Jada

hats off to the bride

It’s exactly 58 days away until our wedding or as I tell my Mama…”it’s not a wedding, it’s an experience.” The day finally came.

My bridal shower…..and it was heavenly..

I’m not big on attention and weddings are the exact opposite. All of the attention is on the bride. So I’m working through this social intro-extrovert…-ism I have going on.

Planning this wedding is nothing short of stressful, just the details that go into planning is taxing but I must say I am enjoying the ride.

I’ll say I anticipated this day being surrounded by family and friends in celebration of the big day.  I’ve also somewhat dreaded this day because of what I’d wear and what I’d look like in it.

I wanted everyone to look absolutely fabulous so it was a dresses and fascinators themed event.

It’s was a rough year with two pregnancies and two casearan’s.   My body has done some things and unfairly, I have done some things to my body.

But that fear came and went and I decided my mommy heart was bigger than my tummy part!!

Take a peek….

****Photo credits of the food and decorations taken by my future cousin in law Keisha Carter. 

#StillOnAHigh Lemme tell you I worked hard to get into an XL from my fav website for dresses which is the largest size they offer. Diet changes & exercise was/is a must. I had a C-section, got pregnant 3 months later then had another C-section all in ONE year. My doc was not happy with me but a woman’s body is f$cking amazing ……so yeah it was a rough year for me. I almost said I wasn’t gonna wear this dress bc of my tummy but shit ain’t nobody ehva said to me I love your tummy Jada….NOPE…. always I love YOU Jada… So mommy’s shout out to your tummy’s….if nobody else rub/loves it make sure you do!! 

J

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boys have curls too

I truly thought I had hit the lick when I had two boys….meaning no hair braided, no detangling, no deep conditioners, and no salons?

I was ever so wrong.

The boys require just as much maintenance as me it seems. My biggest problem is the lint the boys catch in their kinks and curls. Satin pillowcases for boys? 🤔

My routine for them, mainly Sage because Jus still has those baby curls going, is quite simple and old school.

Castile soap.

Coconut oil.

Mango butter hair grease.

And if it’s a special occasion I drop some of that Cantu Curling Cream on them.  I have tried all types of products on my hair and it lead my to this, the cheaper one.  So I refuse to troll through baby hair products.

I wash their hair with Castille soap and use coconut oil as a leave in conditioner. Sage has super curly hair like mine and his shrinkage is real too. I use hair grease daily to keep his scalp moisturized so his hair won’t look so dry. I lightly trim his ends every four or five months especially if the ends become knotted.

These products work well for me, no hassles and it’s cost effective as well. The grease is a $1 and lasts for about a month. The coconut oil I purchased from Your Dekalb Farmer’s Market, here in Decatur, Ga and I literally have it for months with all the use we get out of it.  And the Castille soap,…….is $1.50 a bar at Big Lots and it’s pure Castille.  I forgot to snap a pic but I will post of pic later when I restock.

A total of $2.50.

What products do you use on your son’s hair? Is keeping boys’ hair as high maintenance as having girls?

*****the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents!*****

yes, my toddler has chores

“What the hand does the mind remembers.” ~ Maria Montessori

I delight in the compliments that are given to Apple and Dos, well Apple for the most part about his table manners and his behavior at school and in public.  I care that he learns academia but I also want polite, respectful and somewhat well mannered kids.  I mean kids will be kids. Don’t get me wrong, I know they will not be completely innocent or well mannered at all times but we hope to instill a solid foundation that they will return to. Train a child up, right?

So this brings us to responsibilities that they have around the house as toddlers.  My fiancé grew up on a farm and tells the tales of the hard work that came with his adolescent years.  He definitely knows the meaning of hard work and working together as a family unit.  For the most part, I am blessed to have him have the upperhand in how the boys are disciplined.  We don’t use physical force but we do have consequences with certain actions.

When the boys wake up they have what we call the Morning High Five that we try to keep in our morning routine.  I found this diagram to follow and you just implement the five activities to teach you’d like to teach them.

  • Makes his bed
  • Changes out of PJs and into clothes
  • Eats breakfast
  • Kitchen chore (put his plate in sink, wipe his placemat down)
  • Brush his teeth

All of these activities he absolutely needs assistance with and met with resistance the first few times.

But he is now adamant about doing them himself now.  No problem, shawty!!!

Now first let me say there is nothing wrong with the way YOU want to parent.  I’m just giving you insight into our day.  Everything ain’t for everybody.  Do you Mama!!!!  WE on the other hand just feel that doing everything for them all the time instills a sense of entitlement that someone will pick up or clean after them all the time.

People ask me how do I handle two toddlers and my best advice is consistency and routines.  Routines were and still are difficult for me to master, you see I am the most unstructured person.  I live spontaneously.  I have learned to try to follow a routine but sooner or later I break free.  But with kids I had to take a step back or two.  Kids need consistency and stability.  It allows them to feel safe and secure and they don’t even know it.  They want and crave boundaries they just don’t know it.

So, Apple has caught on to his routines and even will remind me if I forget a time or two.  We currently have three fish, Sushi, Tigguh and Kleo and he “helps” with cleaning the tank.

Teamwork.

So when I get those simple compliments it makes me proud that they are continuing what they have learned away from home.

Half of my job is then done!!

What types of chores do you give your toddler or so they not have chores? I’d love to hear about it?