The last three years have been great, I have connected with other moms, made new friends, live and socially.

BUT.

There is always a but, how effective is my platform. I am always at a cross roads as to what content to post that will create a discussion. When you look at all the social media influencer pages everything is prim, proper, beautiful, even mystifying with bold pictures.

BUT.

At first, I truly blogged in hopes of gaining followers and being labeled as an “influencer.” Securing the bag and gaining popularity was high on the list.

But now that my kids are growing, I cannot help but notice the world and the times we live in. To be a great parent is to make your mark, set paths and examples and legacy for your kids. The ultimate goal: for them to have and be better than what you are.

We are living in horrible times with that demon and his inept wife as president, yes I said it, I have no sympathy for her either. Women have often been just as treacherous as their racist and bigoted counterparts.

Being a racist is becoming popular. Hatred is becoming popular. Violence is popular. And it could happen to anyone at anytime.

No racism has always been there. We’ve just never seen it’s ugly face displayed as often as we see on TV.

I loathe him and all that his administration and followers stand for.

There is no safety, no peace, no kindness, no compassion, no tolerance and lastly there is no GOD in this administration.

Haven’t you noticed?

I have worked very hard to get to the point where I have a true voice and at this point in my life and my career I have a responsibility to do what’s best for the world and not what is most popular.’ – Beyonce

At this point in my life, at 40, popularity isn’t even a goal for me. Change is. Doing what is mandatory for my kids to thrive in America. I want to use this platform to shed light on the good in the world but also the worst of it.

But first, VOTE them out of office. I’m with Maxine Waters, if you see them in public, let them know how you feel. After all they work for us, our voices.

The youth of today began this millennial movement for change with the March for Our Lives movement to change gun laws.

I am delighted young people are aware and involved. Watch out!

I hope you’re registered because voting, not just in the presidential election, but primary elections will change this presidency. Vote out the senators, state representatives and lawmakers that do not have our best interests at heart. You can register and check to see if your registration is still valid here it only takes 30 seconds.

Do you know her?

Her name is Nia Wilson.

Say it with me.

Say her name.

Nia Wilson.

If you haven’t heard of her please click here to be informed. She was the victim of a horrible white supremaciat stabbing attack that took her life and left her sister critically injured.

I mean what in the fuck is going on.

Being racist is becoming popular. Hatred is popular. Violence is popular. And it could happen to anyone at anytime.

Yes, even you.

We have loads of work to do. It’s cool to post your beauty hacks, dopest outfits and places and people you have seen. Enjoy life, really enjoy it. But can you really be at peace when another’s life doesn’t matter, isn’t fully capable or allowed to enjoy the liberties and freedoms of the world.

But don’t forget life outside those squares is real. I hope you are using your voice for change as well. We can’t be distracted by what only makes us feel good. We have to always be affected by that lump I our throats, the drops of our stomach and tearing eyes to stay connected to each other I this world .

It’s really simple, the solution that is.

LOVE.

I know it cliche but it’s the truth. Because within love you find, peace, hope, faith and ACTION. Love is all of those things but most of all, it’s a verb.

Love is action.

So I will be at rallies this year, protest, signing petitions, making donations and whatever it takes to make change happen.

But until then I will enjoy babies and my family in my lifetime and pray this world will be different for #dembabies

Blessings!!

xo,

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ready, start 40-ish mom

***the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents. ***

Fawty is approaching fast, like in 4 months. But I welcome it.

I’ve been blogging for about three years and I always felt I had a bit of a late start. I’m 39 with a 2 and 1 year old. Yeah… I started late. I began journaling my transition into motherhood to vent and record the process of pregnancy but eventually it turned into a blog to reach out and connect with other moms.

I’m finding this blogger world is filled with beautiful, vivacious twenty and thirty something millennial moms and I’m just not relating at times.

Sure, motherhood is a connection in itself but I need to hear from women who made or didn’t have a choice at making babies this late in the game. Is it a good decision or should we have done it way sooner?

No regrets here…. yeah right. The energy alone it takes to keep up with kids is a pro for babies early. But the time for me to have my babies was the time for me to have them.

Photo by Kita Bryant

First I have to decide what is or thought was a successful blog to me.

Paid.

I see that’s not as easy either. Of course the main goal would be to gain tons of followers and paid advertisements, but at 40 is that really the point.

40, I welcome you with open arms. Grudges are lost, memories matter + kindness is power.

It feels like patience, serenity, flow and grace. .

Is that you GOD?

Now my definition of success has transitioned and for the better. Being successful is connecting with a community of women of color over 40 who want to make positive changes in their lives as well as in their families and communities. I mean it’s our duty and rites of passage as we age in society, to make it better for the new group of moms.

Trill mothers.

I want to inspire women in midlife! And from what I see there aren’t many 40-ish fabulous women of color blogs out there besides fashion and beauty and that is sparse too. Some of us are glamorous and some not fancy, all the time I should say. I clean up well. It’s just beauty and fashion are low on my list with #dembabies. Plus I need help in styling a 40 year old body, yes LAWD somebody help me.

I remember being in my 20s and I looked up to older women mostly not my peers. The beauty, the class, the grace, the confidence…..YES!!!

I’ll put up a post or two on anti-aging or age defying tricks lol…that’s the beauty medium I’m categorized in at 40. Post some outfits besides the mom uniforms. I don’t want to go backwards, sure my 20s were fun but it was a confusing time for me trying to work through life.

So I’ll just remain me.

J a d a.

The plain Jane, the girl next door and hope you find something that ignites a flame, inspires or creates a space where you are able to find what makes you truly happy with your life and yourself.

Whether it is family, love, lifestyle, beauty or fashion I hope you will join me on my journey through 40-ish.

I started a Facebook group called Ready, Start 40-ish

for black moms beginning families 40ish.. just to connect personally with followers… I really hate that word.. working on another term. Please join our 2 member group for now lol.

So good day for now Mamas!

What inspires you right now in the moment? What are some of your over 40 blogs, I’d love to follow?

Blessings!!

xo,

Jada

being a black stay at home mom

I have run into this question often “So what are you doing in your spare time since the kids are in school now” or “don’t you want to work and have your own money?

Why?

Are you in my business?

Why is it so hard to believe that a stay at home mom can be black too? I’ve been at this for about two and a half years now and trust, it is not as easy or as glamorous some Moms make it out to be ALL the time.  Everybody cannot be a stay at home mom.  I have been working since I was 14 and it was a challenge to let go and completely depend on someone for everything.  Now that we are a one income family of four, budgeting is key!

I’m still struggling with that one y’all!

My fiance and I agreed that we were both comfortable with me being home with the kids at least for the first two to three years.  I bounced back and forth about whether I would homeschool them or not. Still deciding? The kids began school this year, Apple at age 2 and although I planned on keeping my youngest, Dos, with me another year, a spot at the daycare opened up so I had to jump on it quickly.   So off he went at 11 months. Yikes! They are both doing well and making developmental progress as well. I love that if the school calls and needs me to come and see about my babies or just to answer the phones for a few hours, I’m out!!

One call, that’s all….about dem babies!!

Now, what do I do all day?

At first, I literally thought that I would be able to catch up on a little sleep, cleaning and other mundane activities in the house.  But it seemed as though the more time I have, the more errands that needed to be ran.  Being a stay a stay at home mom is a business that needs a great manager(s) for the household to run like a well oiled machine.  Lots of budgeting, time management, networking, finding new mommy friends, chef, maid, healer, comforter, therapist, doctor, teacher, LAUNDRY, so much freakin’ laundry, personal stylist and personal assistant to the bread winner, WHEW!!!

Who said I don’t work?

And most importantly keeping my family happy!

I don’t think white women or any other ethnic group get such a backlash like black women do.  It is accepted and the norm for white women to stay at home and take care of the house.  The idea of a black stay at home mom is she’s lazy, a gold digger and just wants to be taken cared of her whole life, but never she just wants to be there for her family.

Not many women are forced to be domestic goddesses, it is a choice.  Sure, I could work long hours to provide them with every and anything they want and need but what I think MY kids need the most is consistency, stability and love.  I believe and hope that more black women will consider the option of staying at home with their kids even if for the beginning years, 0-3.

Yet in the first three years of life, a baby’s developing brain doubles in size. Every tickle, every warm chuckle, every waggle of a toy is a mini-explosion of brain-power, joy and love that impacts on what happens in later years.


the daily mail

There are countless studies that show kids are better prepared for school, relationships with others and show higher levels of confidence in themselves.  We need this more than ever in the black community.  Black women need the option and the ability to be comfortable with staying at home and having the opportunity to raise our kids.  My kids will always know that one of us will be home when they walk through that door.  It was the same with my mother, she was a stay-at-home mom as well.

At times it feels like it could be a slight hint of envy when I tell people I stay at home.

Mad?

I use my time to cultivate my mind, find inspiration and ideas to make my home and the ones in it feel loved.  I am developing my boys’ mental and physical well being through home activities, I cook, I clean, I love…… Look!…You know what goes on in a household so that times three for me. I continue working on my own businesses as well.  Warren Buffett says a millionaire has at least seven streams of income—–seven.

Marinate.

NOW. I am not blind to the fact that all women cannot stay at home whether it be financial incapabilities or they just aren’t capable of being at home all day with children, trust me I get it. For me, I choose to sacrifice that little bit of time for a better long term result.

But for now…. I choose to enjoy my babies!!

I am blessed to have a partner that believes in my dreams as well.  You see he owns his own business and understands the risks that are taken, the FREE time you put into your dreams and the fruits from it. I take pride in the work I do for my family and no one can do it better than me.  I will continue this until my kids are at an age of obtaining their independence, so like 4….*shrugs

All in all I enjoy every minute of it. Even when it is challenging at times.  I would not trade it for the world.

I don’t mind sharing it with the world either!

Blessings,

Jada

hats off to the bride

It’s exactly 58 days away until our wedding or as I tell my Mama…”it’s not a wedding, it’s an experience.” The day finally came.

My bridal shower…..and it was heavenly..

I’m not big on attention and weddings are the exact opposite. All of the attention is on the bride. So I’m working through this social intro-extrovert…-ism I have going on.

Planning this wedding is nothing short of stressful, just the details that go into planning is taxing but I must say I am enjoying the ride.

I’ll say I anticipated this day being surrounded by family and friends in celebration of the big day.  I’ve also somewhat dreaded this day because of what I’d wear and what I’d look like in it.

I wanted everyone to look absolutely fabulous so it was a dresses and fascinators themed event.

It’s was a rough year with two pregnancies and two casearan’s.   My body has done some things and unfairly, I have done some things to my body.

But that fear came and went and I decided my mommy heart was bigger than my tummy part!!

Take a peek….

****Photo credits of the food and decorations taken by my future cousin in law Keisha Carter. 

#StillOnAHigh Lemme tell you I worked hard to get into an XL from my fav website for dresses which is the largest size they offer. Diet changes & exercise was/is a must. I had a C-section, got pregnant 3 months later then had another C-section all in ONE year. My doc was not happy with me but a woman’s body is f$cking amazing ……so yeah it was a rough year for me. I almost said I wasn’t gonna wear this dress bc of my tummy but shit ain’t nobody ehva said to me I love your tummy Jada….NOPE…. always I love YOU Jada… So mommy’s shout out to your tummy’s….if nobody else rub/loves it make sure you do!! 

J

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a black girl plantation wedding

If you’ve ever scrolled through my posts you will know that I am getting married in 200 days now.  Wow. 200.

The time went by quickly.  We have been engaged since Easter of 2016.  Not exactly planning to have such a longer engagement but I was pregnant and wanted a little more twerk bounce back time.  Fast forward two years later and I am here posting about my wedding.  I will post weekly on our progress if you would like to join me on my journey.  I would love ideas from other creatives as well.

I went to many venues and eventually decided on a venue in Thomasville, Ga, where my fiance is from.  Pebble. Hill. Plantation.

A plantation.

Click the link below for a sneak peek and while you’re at subscribe to my YouTube channel as well.  I will be uploading vlogs periodically on our DIY wedding journey and I am sure there are other brides so I’d love to hear your process.

 

 

Never in a million years would I, a proud, woke, black Southern woman, have thought to step foot on a plantation let alone get married on one.  But, in order to know or understand something or someone you have to have contact and be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I know that feeling, uncomfortable.

God was about to change me.

My fiance has a huge family and some of them work on a plantation.  This is where my ignorance kicked in and I immediately thought of old slave movies that I have watched and learned through.  I wasn’t being facetious or judgmental, this city girl just did not know.  We do not have plantations is Atlanta.  You see it’s kind of you can go outside of Georgia, but not outside of Atlanta, remember, it is still Georgia.  I was thinking who and why would anyone want or still work on a plantation in 2017 and what exactly do they do.  I was educated quickly and enlightened as well.  Why not? As my father put it, it is no different than 5 star hotels or businesses that have deep rooted history and have profited from slavery.  Plantations now have been turned into museums and still require upkeep just like a hotel or country club would.

I had to do my research myself on what plantations were and how they came to be.  I came to learn that plantations have been around long before Europeans settled in America before becoming a staple in American history as property that kept and owned slaves. Many were concentrated in the South and the house is considered a plantation if it has so many acres, certain types of crops and least 6 slaves.  Slaves were more expensive than land and not everyone could afford many.  I always assumed that every home and most, if not all, white people in the South owned a plantation and owned slaves.  But this was not true, majority of white farmers in the South were poor as well and only a handful (the 1%) were lucrative plantation owners with hundreds of slaves.

In order to consider Pebble Hill, I would have to research the history and visit the place.  I needed to feel the energy from it.  I work like that.  After much googling and research I was somewhat at ease with the history that I read.  I will let you do the googling but Pebble Hill had at most 68 slaves and these particular slave owners that owned Pebble Hill were fair to their slaves, if there is a word that can juxtapose the two, and in fact befriended some to the extent that at the death of the slave owners, land was left to some of them.

HIStory.

There was so much suffering, bondage and pain I would believe it has tainted the land of plantations.  But if I may, what about the love that was created between the slaves although they were not allowed, legally, to marry at all.  With all of the laws that forbid them to be free, read and love, our ancestors still managed to acquire them knowing the consequences of such.  Of these three is a commonality that once you have it, it can never be taken back.  The love was the strongest because it was basically the backbone of the family.  It strengthened them to fight and continue, no matter what, they could always love.

To me, this is the purest love because they had nothing, absolutely nothing but.  We even created secret ceremonies to officiate such as the infamous “jumping of the broom” in the black community to celebrate with African traditions.  I read up on this tradition as well, I never had a reason to before, I just went with the knowledge of hearsay.  This venue has inspired me even more to have an African inspired wedding along with the traditional Western wedding to celebrate our culture.  I tell people all the time.

I am African and American.

If the soil is tainted with any suffrage then think of the love that has stained the soil as well.  We choose to take back that power and turn the pain into a celebration of unity and love at its purest, the beginning.  Plus this will be the ultimate Black Girl Magic ever at Pebble Hill Plantation.

LIT.

So the plantation it is.  When you know, you just know.  And the grounds are immaculate, exactly us.  So, I write this to say its okay to think outside of the box if you’re planning your wedding.  Tradition goes out of the door because most of us live unconventionally.

do you.

fuck the rest.

xo,

Jada

*the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents

*the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents!!