what’s not to like

Growing up I didn’t care for my side profile.

I had a flat face or a pie face as I was teased lol. At 27, I remember saying “I am sick and tired of picking myself apart.” Went back natural and haven’t looked back.

I intentionally picked those parts I had a problem with and chose to accentuate it, accept it and love it.

More side pics of that flat face.

Bright red lipsticks for my full lips.

And smile as often as I can with my gap.

It was all in my head, literally, vanity.

No one was even concerned about my flaws like I was or I was too unbothered to notice by then. That same thinking has carried me through motherhood and this new body.

Its really easy to pick apart all the things that are wrong with you, lose a little weight here, nip and tuck there but even easier to just embrace it.

Make it yours.

There only one you.

At 40 I see some shit just ain’t gone change.

Genetics. But in this millennial world I have relating cliches…live tour best life!

You’ve got people depending on it Mama!

God don’t make no mistakes. Your flaws are your purpose whether it be to change them or flaunt them in all their beauty.

You are the ONLY thing that will is consistent throughout your entire journey in life. So you better like yourself.

I say all that to say side profiles make my shit look fly-er!!

I make jewelry to and this was a customer request.

The 2nd pic is motherhood while working… I see you boy! Get down!

What parts of you have you grown to love?

xo,

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The last three years have been great, I have connected with other moms, made new friends, live and socially.

BUT.

There is always a but, how effective is my platform. I am always at a cross roads as to what content to post that will create a discussion. When you look at all the social media influencer pages everything is prim, proper, beautiful, even mystifying with bold pictures.

BUT.

At first, I truly blogged in hopes of gaining followers and being labeled as an “influencer.” Securing the bag and gaining popularity was high on the list.

But now that my kids are growing, I cannot help but notice the world and the times we live in. To be a great parent is to make your mark, set paths and examples and legacy for your kids. The ultimate goal: for them to have and be better than what you are.

We are living in horrible times with that demon and his inept wife as president, yes I said it, I have no sympathy for her either. Women have often been just as treacherous as their racist and bigoted counterparts.

Being a racist is becoming popular. Hatred is becoming popular. Violence is popular. And it could happen to anyone at anytime.

No racism has always been there. We’ve just never seen it’s ugly face displayed as often as we see on TV.

I loathe him and all that his administration and followers stand for.

There is no safety, no peace, no kindness, no compassion, no tolerance and lastly there is no GOD in this administration.

Haven’t you noticed?

I have worked very hard to get to the point where I have a true voice and at this point in my life and my career I have a responsibility to do what’s best for the world and not what is most popular.’ – Beyonce

At this point in my life, at 40, popularity isn’t even a goal for me. Change is. Doing what is mandatory for my kids to thrive in America. I want to use this platform to shed light on the good in the world but also the worst of it.

But first, VOTE them out of office. I’m with Maxine Waters, if you see them in public, let them know how you feel. After all they work for us, our voices.

The youth of today began this millennial movement for change with the March for Our Lives movement to change gun laws.

I am delighted young people are aware and involved. Watch out!

I hope you’re registered because voting, not just in the presidential election, but primary elections will change this presidency. Vote out the senators, state representatives and lawmakers that do not have our best interests at heart. You can register and check to see if your registration is still valid here it only takes 30 seconds.

Do you know her?

Her name is Nia Wilson.

Say it with me.

Say her name.

Nia Wilson.

If you haven’t heard of her please click here to be informed. She was the victim of a horrible white supremaciat stabbing attack that took her life and left her sister critically injured.

I mean what in the fuck is going on.

Being racist is becoming popular. Hatred is popular. Violence is popular. And it could happen to anyone at anytime.

Yes, even you.

We have loads of work to do. It’s cool to post your beauty hacks, dopest outfits and places and people you have seen. Enjoy life, really enjoy it. But can you really be at peace when another’s life doesn’t matter, isn’t fully capable or allowed to enjoy the liberties and freedoms of the world.

But don’t forget life outside those squares is real. I hope you are using your voice for change as well. We can’t be distracted by what only makes us feel good. We have to always be affected by that lump I our throats, the drops of our stomach and tearing eyes to stay connected to each other I this world .

It’s really simple, the solution that is.

LOVE.

I know it cliche but it’s the truth. Because within love you find, peace, hope, faith and ACTION. Love is all of those things but most of all, it’s a verb.

Love is action.

So I will be at rallies this year, protest, signing petitions, making donations and whatever it takes to make change happen.

But until then I will enjoy babies and my family in my lifetime and pray this world will be different for #dembabies

Blessings!!

xo,

ready, start 40-ish mom

***the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents. ***

Fawty is approaching fast, like in 4 months. But I welcome it.

I’ve been blogging for about three years and I always felt I had a bit of a late start. I’m 39 with a 2 and 1 year old. Yeah… I started late. I began journaling my transition into motherhood to vent and record the process of pregnancy but eventually it turned into a blog to reach out and connect with other moms.

I’m finding this blogger world is filled with beautiful, vivacious twenty and thirty something millennial moms and I’m just not relating at times.

Sure, motherhood is a connection in itself but I need to hear from women who made or didn’t have a choice at making babies this late in the game. Is it a good decision or should we have done it way sooner?

No regrets here…. yeah right. The energy alone it takes to keep up with kids is a pro for babies early. But the time for me to have my babies was the time for me to have them.

Photo by Kita Bryant

First I have to decide what is or thought was a successful blog to me.

Paid.

I see that’s not as easy either. Of course the main goal would be to gain tons of followers and paid advertisements, but at 40 is that really the point.

40, I welcome you with open arms. Grudges are lost, memories matter + kindness is power.

It feels like patience, serenity, flow and grace. .

Is that you GOD?

Now my definition of success has transitioned and for the better. Being successful is connecting with a community of women of color over 40 who want to make positive changes in their lives as well as in their families and communities. I mean it’s our duty and rites of passage as we age in society, to make it better for the new group of moms.

Trill mothers.

I want to inspire women in midlife! And from what I see there aren’t many 40-ish fabulous women of color blogs out there besides fashion and beauty and that is sparse too. Some of us are glamorous and some not fancy, all the time I should say. I clean up well. It’s just beauty and fashion are low on my list with #dembabies. Plus I need help in styling a 40 year old body, yes LAWD somebody help me.

I remember being in my 20s and I looked up to older women mostly not my peers. The beauty, the class, the grace, the confidence…..YES!!!

I’ll put up a post or two on anti-aging or age defying tricks lol…that’s the beauty medium I’m categorized in at 40. Post some outfits besides the mom uniforms. I don’t want to go backwards, sure my 20s were fun but it was a confusing time for me trying to work through life.

So I’ll just remain me.

J a d a.

The plain Jane, the girl next door and hope you find something that ignites a flame, inspires or creates a space where you are able to find what makes you truly happy with your life and yourself.

Whether it is family, love, lifestyle, beauty or fashion I hope you will join me on my journey through 40-ish.

I started a Facebook group called Ready, Start 40-ish

for black moms beginning families 40ish.. just to connect personally with followers… I really hate that word.. working on another term. Please join our 2 member group for now lol.

So good day for now Mamas!

What inspires you right now in the moment? What are some of your over 40 blogs, I’d love to follow?

Blessings!!

xo,

Jada

less is really more

I have been searching and researching this new minimalist lifestyle that I am hearing about everywhere.

I began my journey following the duo The Minimalists on IG…. check them out. Basically, their take is to find the value in your daily life without the excess that we bury ourselves in each day. This leads to comparison, depression, anxiety and a host of other illnesses that pretty much piggy back off of each other.

Some minimalist have the extreme ideology to live with less than 100 items in their homes including the home and cars. Now at first their take for me seemed a bit extreme at first… I mean only 100 items, that alone took care of my hair products and bathroom necessities alone. Every negative excuse I could think of kept popping up in this head of mine.

Shut up Jada and keep reading.

Minimalism is a tool that can assist you in finding freedom. Freedom from fear. Freedom from worry. Freedom from overwhelm. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from depression. Freedom from the trappings of the consumer culture we’ve built our lives around. Real freedom.

I have to say this style of living seems all too familiar growing up. We were not amongst the 1% sometimes not event the other 99% lol but we were able to maintain and afford the necessities and a few luxuries.

The looks I stumble upon courtesy of my bae Pinterest, seems to involve neutral colors, earth tones, lots of plants and basic accessories.

I really like this last one with the DIY table and night stand. It definitely feels like home growing up and right up my alley for a DIY!

These pictures just give me peace and zen looking at it so I had to go for it and try it out…..small steps so the bathroom is first.

I started with my bath tub area. Unfortunately, I cleared out everything before taking a before shot. Now my bathroom is red from the previous owner so the lighting wasn’t as clear. We’re moving soon so this neutral theme will take place at our new home.

I love candles…. my ideal bathroom has loads of candles surrounding the tub, so this will do for now.

I have plants…. I’m surprised they’ve lived so long to be truthful.

I tossed the clutter out. I actually felt a bit of relief. My tub had three soap dish holders, body wash bottles, loofahs, scrubs, razors, toys, scattered around aimlessly. Now some might say isn’t that just a good old fashioned cleaning? Sure but the object is to toss out the old, keep ONE item of product and not accumulate. Not allowing the clutter to reappear and distract you from what’s more important.

This may not work for everyone, in fact you don’t have to go as far as clearing all items out. If you have an eye for decorating and the need to have a beautiful home then by all means go for it. The object is to get you into a space that is clean, clutter free and ultimately gives you a chance to focus on what has intangible value in your life and how you can obtain more of it. To not give so much emphasis and value to things.

It gives you freedom from worry.

Life FEELS completely different when you don’t force it.

So I hope you will follow along on my minimal lifestyle quest. This isn’t a process that happens overnight. I’m sure I will fall back many times before accomplishing this process, it could take several years before you actually grasp the concept. Baby steps! Start with a 21 day challenge and grow from there. But it’s worth the wait to me!

Xoxo,

Jada

boys have curls too

I truly thought I had hit the lick when I had two boys….meaning no hair braided, no detangling, no deep conditioners, and no salons?

I was ever so wrong.

The boys require just as much maintenance as me it seems. My biggest problem is the lint the boys catch in their kinks and curls. Satin pillowcases for boys? 🤔

My routine for them, mainly Sage because Jus still has those baby curls going, is quite simple and old school.

Castile soap.

Coconut oil.

Mango butter hair grease.

And if it’s a special occasion I drop some of that Cantu Curling Cream on them.  I have tried all types of products on my hair and it lead my to this, the cheaper one.  So I refuse to troll through baby hair products.

I wash their hair with Castille soap and use coconut oil as a leave in conditioner. Sage has super curly hair like mine and his shrinkage is real too. I use hair grease daily to keep his scalp moisturized so his hair won’t look so dry. I lightly trim his ends every four or five months especially if the ends become knotted.

These products work well for me, no hassles and it’s cost effective as well. The grease is a $1 and lasts for about a month. The coconut oil I purchased from Your Dekalb Farmer’s Market, here in Decatur, Ga and I literally have it for months with all the use we get out of it.  And the Castille soap,…….is $1.50 a bar at Big Lots and it’s pure Castille.  I forgot to snap a pic but I will post of pic later when I restock.

A total of $2.50.

What products do you use on your son’s hair? Is keeping boys’ hair as high maintenance as having girls?

*****the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents!*****