what’s not to like

Growing up I didn’t care for my side profile.

I had a flat face or a pie face as I was teased lol. At 27, I remember saying “I am sick and tired of picking myself apart.” Went back natural and haven’t looked back.

I intentionally picked those parts I had a problem with and chose to accentuate it, accept it and love it.

More side pics of that flat face.

Bright red lipsticks for my full lips.

And smile as often as I can with my gap.

It was all in my head, literally, vanity.

No one was even concerned about my flaws like I was or I was too unbothered to notice by then. That same thinking has carried me through motherhood and this new body.

Its really easy to pick apart all the things that are wrong with you, lose a little weight here, nip and tuck there but even easier to just embrace it.

Make it yours.

There only one you.

At 40 I see some shit just ain’t gone change.

Genetics. But in this millennial world I have relating cliches…live tour best life!

You’ve got people depending on it Mama!

God don’t make no mistakes. Your flaws are your purpose whether it be to change them or flaunt them in all their beauty.

You are the ONLY thing that will is consistent throughout your entire journey in life. So you better like yourself.

I say all that to say side profiles make my shit look fly-er!!

I make jewelry to and this was a customer request.

The 2nd pic is motherhood while working… I see you boy! Get down!

What parts of you have you grown to love?



The last three years have been great, I have connected with other moms, made new friends, live and socially.


There is always a but, how effective is my platform. I am always at a cross roads as to what content to post that will create a discussion. When you look at all the social media influencer pages everything is prim, proper, beautiful, even mystifying with bold pictures.


At first, I truly blogged in hopes of gaining followers and being labeled as an “influencer.” Securing the bag and gaining popularity was high on the list.

But now that my kids are growing, I cannot help but notice the world and the times we live in. To be a great parent is to make your mark, set paths and examples and legacy for your kids. The ultimate goal: for them to have and be better than what you are.

We are living in horrible times with that demon and his inept wife as president, yes I said it, I have no sympathy for her either. Women have often been just as treacherous as their racist and bigoted counterparts.

Being a racist is becoming popular. Hatred is becoming popular. Violence is popular. And it could happen to anyone at anytime.

No racism has always been there. We’ve just never seen it’s ugly face displayed as often as we see on TV.

I loathe him and all that his administration and followers stand for.

There is no safety, no peace, no kindness, no compassion, no tolerance and lastly there is no GOD in this administration.

Haven’t you noticed?

I have worked very hard to get to the point where I have a true voice and at this point in my life and my career I have a responsibility to do what’s best for the world and not what is most popular.’ – Beyonce

At this point in my life, at 40, popularity isn’t even a goal for me. Change is. Doing what is mandatory for my kids to thrive in America. I want to use this platform to shed light on the good in the world but also the worst of it.

But first, VOTE them out of office. I’m with Maxine Waters, if you see them in public, let them know how you feel. After all they work for us, our voices.

The youth of today began this millennial movement for change with the March for Our Lives movement to change gun laws.

I am delighted young people are aware and involved. Watch out!

I hope you’re registered because voting, not just in the presidential election, but primary elections will change this presidency. Vote out the senators, state representatives and lawmakers that do not have our best interests at heart. You can register and check to see if your registration is still valid here it only takes 30 seconds.

Do you know her?

Her name is Nia Wilson.

Say it with me.

Say her name.

Nia Wilson.

If you haven’t heard of her please click here to be informed. She was the victim of a horrible white supremaciat stabbing attack that took her life and left her sister critically injured.

I mean what in the fuck is going on.

Being racist is becoming popular. Hatred is popular. Violence is popular. And it could happen to anyone at anytime.

Yes, even you.

We have loads of work to do. It’s cool to post your beauty hacks, dopest outfits and places and people you have seen. Enjoy life, really enjoy it. But can you really be at peace when another’s life doesn’t matter, isn’t fully capable or allowed to enjoy the liberties and freedoms of the world.

But don’t forget life outside those squares is real. I hope you are using your voice for change as well. We can’t be distracted by what only makes us feel good. We have to always be affected by that lump I our throats, the drops of our stomach and tearing eyes to stay connected to each other I this world .

It’s really simple, the solution that is.


I know it cliche but it’s the truth. Because within love you find, peace, hope, faith and ACTION. Love is all of those things but most of all, it’s a verb.

Love is action.

So I will be at rallies this year, protest, signing petitions, making donations and whatever it takes to make change happen.

But until then I will enjoy babies and my family in my lifetime and pray this world will be different for #dembabies



ready, start 40-ish mom

***the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents. ***

Fawty is approaching fast, like in 4 months. But I welcome it.

I’ve been blogging for about three years and I always felt I had a bit of a late start. I’m 39 with a 2 and 1 year old. Yeah… I started late. I began journaling my transition into motherhood to vent and record the process of pregnancy but eventually it turned into a blog to reach out and connect with other moms.

I’m finding this blogger world is filled with beautiful, vivacious twenty and thirty something millennial moms and I’m just not relating at times.

Sure, motherhood is a connection in itself but I need to hear from women who made or didn’t have a choice at making babies this late in the game. Is it a good decision or should we have done it way sooner?

No regrets here…. yeah right. The energy alone it takes to keep up with kids is a pro for babies early. But the time for me to have my babies was the time for me to have them.

Photo by Kita Bryant

First I have to decide what is or thought was a successful blog to me.


I see that’s not as easy either. Of course the main goal would be to gain tons of followers and paid advertisements, but at 40 is that really the point.

40, I welcome you with open arms. Grudges are lost, memories matter + kindness is power.

It feels like patience, serenity, flow and grace. .

Is that you GOD?

Now my definition of success has transitioned and for the better. Being successful is connecting with a community of women of color over 40 who want to make positive changes in their lives as well as in their families and communities. I mean it’s our duty and rites of passage as we age in society, to make it better for the new group of moms.

Trill mothers.

I want to inspire women in midlife! And from what I see there aren’t many 40-ish fabulous women of color blogs out there besides fashion and beauty and that is sparse too. Some of us are glamorous and some not fancy, all the time I should say. I clean up well. It’s just beauty and fashion are low on my list with #dembabies. Plus I need help in styling a 40 year old body, yes LAWD somebody help me.

I remember being in my 20s and I looked up to older women mostly not my peers. The beauty, the class, the grace, the confidence…..YES!!!

I’ll put up a post or two on anti-aging or age defying tricks lol…that’s the beauty medium I’m categorized in at 40. Post some outfits besides the mom uniforms. I don’t want to go backwards, sure my 20s were fun but it was a confusing time for me trying to work through life.

So I’ll just remain me.

J a d a.

The plain Jane, the girl next door and hope you find something that ignites a flame, inspires or creates a space where you are able to find what makes you truly happy with your life and yourself.

Whether it is family, love, lifestyle, beauty or fashion I hope you will join me on my journey through 40-ish.

I started a Facebook group called Ready, Start 40-ish

for black moms beginning families 40ish.. just to connect personally with followers… I really hate that word.. working on another term. Please join our 2 member group for now lol.

So good day for now Mamas!

What inspires you right now in the moment? What are some of your over 40 blogs, I’d love to follow?




turning your hustle into a business

I am the last person on Earth to tell someone go and get a job.  I say Go and Build a job.  Over the weekend I attended a meet-up for Mompreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs on marketing yourself and not being afraid of publicity. It was dynamic to say the least! Connecting and networking with some brilliant minded individuals that just need an extra push.

I’ve met so many wonderful, encouraging and inspiring women along this journey — it’s priceless.  We all want the same things regardless of color, to contribute to the legacy of our namesake and build for our family.  And hopefully,  empower others to go for it too.

So now what do you do?

Make money moooooooves… I love Cardi B!

I have been doing odd administrative jobs here and there for local businesses, family and friends. It never dawned on me to make that my official business until this year. I’ve heard from many entrepreneurs the best time to start a business is when you’re unemployed or fed up with what you’re doing. You have more time to invest into your venture. Broke but time to build your brand. I began writing for this blog to document my journey into motherhood but see it has turned into so much more. I’ve learned so much from strangers and advocates of black motherhood and parenting.

You have to have more than one stream of income, at least seven according to Warren Buffet, to achieve success, i.e. become rich. Not seven pop up shops but diversifying and dealing investments, mutual funds, acquiring property, and so on..

I am a creative and a true creative can dabble in just about most things artistically.  So I found myself thinking of businesses that I could brand later on.  I came up with four.  Crazy right? All with very little start up costs.

Let’s see there’s my blog, Love, Cotton + Curls…..(holla at me), there’s my virtual assistant services called CreateGo Studio where we assist homes, new Moms, Mompreneurs and small businesses with personal concierge service, adimistrative and operational support, then there’s my conscious t-shirt line for kids and finally to tickle my social entrepreneurialism there is She Laughs, my baby, a soulcial gathering of African American girls ages 5-14 celebrating pioneering women through arts + crafts, a different kind of girl talk!  Date to be announced so go follow please.

You know I don’t want to come across as the get rich quick lady.  But at the end of the day I’m rich, what’s wrong with that lol.   I used to let self doubt and other people’s opinions shape how I approach these ventures.  But why hide your talent?! Don’t keep it a secret, there is someone out there that needs your business.

I now know my capabilities and responsibilities to not only my family but my surrounding community.  That’s the key to life I believe…we’re here to help someone else.  My goal is to show that I will keep trying until I get it right.  I want my boys to see that anything is possible.  Especially with the internet at your hands, for now…..unless Congress blocks the net neutrality bill, ooops did I say that….

Anyway, with God and YouTube…. chile anything is possible.  I want them to know they don’t have to depend on anyone to give you anything.

Clark Atlanta University has a mantra of “Find a way, or make one!” I keep that mind, often!!

No excuses!

Can’t get any simpler than that, right?

So what’s holding you back, fear?  Afraid you might actually be pretty good at it?  Don’t listen to the naysayers or yourself for that matter. We have to live, speak and breathe positivity. A lot of times people don’t believe in your dream because you don’t. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with finding a career from 9-5 with benefits and steady income, the life right.

This post is for the dreamer, the risk taker, the fed up….yeah you!

You’d be surprised to find that everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.  I’m still learning this.  and each time I conquer fear it was the best decision ever time and time again.  If you fail, so what– keep trying, keep fighting and keep pushing and you my friend will have your own definition of a success in no time.

Find what you’re good at DO THAT!

And legalize it.

  1. Find a name for your business and visit your State Secretary website to make sure it is not taken.  Go ahead and use the name for emails and websites to secure no one else can use your name or domain.  If you live in the state of Georgia click here.

2. Work on creating your logo if you have not done so.  

3. Depending on the type of business and state secure a business license with your state.  

And brand it.

4.   Pick colors that you will use in your logo, assuming you have one, business cards and websites to create a consistent theme of your business.  People get used to seeing creative and captivating colors associated with your brand.

And market it.

5.  Scared money don’t make no money.  This is so true.  Do not be afraid to tell everyone about your business.  Market, market, market the hell out of it.  Set up social media accounts on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn to market your business.  This is the quickest and cheapest type of advertisement and marketing.


I love seeing other women connect and win. This is why I began my VA business– to help elevate and create space for other women to thrive and be.

Work hard for it and in due time….

Mo money, mo problems?

Do you have a side hustle you’ve always wanted to turn into a business?  What’s keeping you from that dream?



barefoot confessions: not #metoo

About ten or fifteen years ago an ex and I were playing Questions and he asked had I ever been molested. Quite shocked by his question, I quickly replied “Hell No” and to my surprise he didn’t believe me.

His exact words were “So you’ve never had a dirty uncle, stepfather or mother’s boyfriend that has never touched you?


He was still thoroughly shocked and even more shocking was when he said every woman he’d ever dated had been molested or sexually abused in some way.

How is that possible?


The #MeToo women’s movement surrounding sexual harassment and abuse has put a face(s) to an ugly act.  But this is nothing new.  The courageous and beautiful black woman Tarana Burke, a social activist, began the movement in 1997 with a conversation with a 13-year old girl that had been sexually abused.  This began her organization with Just Be Inc, an empowerment foundation for young girls of color, that eventually evolved into her “Me Too” campaign in 1997.

No, Alyssa Milano did not begin this movement.

Sexual abuse is horrible for any woman but it is so prevalent in black communities and is rarely addressed as it should.  This movement has been hijacked by white women and there plight with sexual abuse.  Black women do not have or if there is access, utilize services due to stigmatization surrounding therapy in black communities.  We do not find solace in other women in our communities because quite frankly,  society places the blame on the woman.   This has a tremendous impact on healing and leads to psychological difficulties in some cases, including substance abuse, mental health challenges, depression, reckless views and actions of our own bodies and how others view us.

However, Ms. Milano has recognized Ms. Burke’s campaign and propelled the movement into the limelight through a tweet.  I made it a point to recognize that this is not a twitter trend but a realistic social platform to bring awareness to the sexual abuse that some women suffer on a daily basis.  Women, white women, are finally beginning to realize their importance, dominance and authority over their bodies and the way society treats and views them.  But what about the voices of the unheard and marginalized.

Black Women.

We are taking a stand and taking our power back too.


I remember working at a restaurant several years back and I happened to be slicing lemons out on the floor.  This particular restaurant was open and you could see all of the staff.  We had a boss that was known for inappropriate conduct and allegedly had fathered children with employees.  He would say inappropriate comments and we would brush it off but stay clear, at least I did.  One busy day he purposely walked by me on a very narrow aisle, which normally people will say excuse me to obtain more room,  and brushed his hand up against my ass.  I was so pissed off that my first and immediate reaction, which is usually the correct one, throw the lemon at his head as hard as I could.  WHAM!! Good girl!!!  I have NEVER been so accurate at a throw until that day.  You see I was not afraid of losing my job—-I could care less, I was more afraid of having to prove what he did.  But by throwing that lemon at his head and in view of the camera, customers and staff it would allow me to have my say and put the blame back on him, why did she throw that at him.  From that moment on I had not had any more incidents with him, and he was fired three months later for more misconduct.  Now most men if they touch you or brush up against you accidentally there is a quick response of “I apologize or I’m sorry” but that did not happen, so I knew he did it intentionally.

I have never been in a relationship with a man that has physically put his hands on me nor verbally abused me.  I guess I was a lucky one.  Now I have been verbally assaulted, grabbed at in hopes of getting a number or more who knows, from unfamiliar men in the streets.  But this was routine, right?  I was not the only one, I have heard countless stories from friends, relatives and strangers, so it became normal and part of my daily walk in life.  Sadly an abnormal routine.  As a young woman growing up and OUT, my journey with objectification began.  The reaction of my blossoming body from the boys made me uncomfortable so I stayed afar for as long as I could.  It was an awkward feeling to be looked gawked upon and wanted at such a young age by peers and perverse older men.  I would purposely reroute my paths in other longer, safer directions if I were approaching a group of males.  I let go of boyfriends if I felt that they were getting closer to wanting more than a kiss.  I was even flashed at the age of 14.  Sadly, this was my first experience with a man’s penis as a teenager and it was ingrained in my head, and it worked, I stayed far away.  That really didn’t help my psyche either.

How much do we actually put up with and ignore or brush off in our daily lives?

An episode of She’s Gotta Have It depicted how the main character’s male lovers viewed her and her insatiable sexuality simply off of how she was dressed in an LBD on a date.

It’s our fault though, right?

Because how dare I want to feel beautiful in the latest fashions, how dare I feel confident in my skin and my curves and my little black dress, how dare I to want to just BE.

Left alone.

Each woman is different in her own right and each woman owns her power and difference accordingly.  The duty to teach society, because women do it too, how to view women not as property or as an escape from the reality of men’s insecurities is not only a father’s but a mother’s as well.

I applaud each and every one of these women no matter their color or how long ago it happened.  But let’s be real the reality and daily lives of most black women and a white women are world’s apart.  I can only speak on what I know as a black woman but our sufferings are not put on platform as quickly nor are we rallied around as quickly, even from our own until a white person notices.  We have got to do better in our own communities.

No shade here, just sharing my experience and views.  I am proud of all of these women for standing up and creating space for room to exhale, gather their audacity, valor, fearlessness and allow other women to speak on their encounters.  I do not want to call these women victims because it is paralyzing.  I look at these women as modern day SHEroes, lion(ess) hearts and warriors.  Although they sacrificed the ultimate, their dignity, it creates a soapbox for women to be liberated and not silenced by her secrets.

At the end of the day we all need each other, to learn and grow from and live on this planet but we definitely need black women to give other black women the support that white women give each other, even if the majority of them are Trump supporters….*side eye.

Now that’s the definition of Black Girl Magic.


So, I say this to say keep talking ladies.

Start talking ladies.

We’re listening!

Men are listening too!

*****the opinions expressed on LCC are just that, MY two cents!